Helping Kids Heal with EMDR: Lightening the Load andMaking Space for the Good Again By Jaimie Keillor

There isn’t a lot of easily accessible information about EMDR, and even less about how it’s used with children. This can create some confusion, and in some cases, hesitation, especially because EMDR has a reputation for being a very serious, sometimes intense intervention.

While EMDR can be deep and powerful, that’s not the whole story, especially when it comes to kids. In fact, EMDR with children can be incredibly gentle, developmentally appropriate, and far less intense than many people expect.

When difficult or overwhelming things happen in a child’s life, those experiences can settle inside in confusing ways. Their thoughts, feelings, and even their bodies can start to feel jumbled, like they’re carrying around weights filled with mixed-up emotions and memories. And when kids are busy holding all of those heavy weights, there isn’t much room left for calm, joy, or the sense of safety they deserve.

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a therapy that helps children gently sort through those “weights” so they can make sense of what happened, let go of what they no longer need, and create space again for the good feelings and healthy thoughts. It’s a process that supports the brain in filing memories properly, so the past doesn’t keep spilling into the present.

How EMDR Works in a Child’s Brain

When something really upsetting or scary happens, the brain sometimes can’t put all the pieces together on its own. As a result, everyday things kids see, hear, or feel can trigger the same yucky emotions or body sensations from the original event. EMDR helps the brain finally connect the dots, making the memory make more sense, and much less overwhelming. Kids don’t have to talk about every detail. Their brain does the work while they stay supported, regulated, and safe.

Children naturally process their experiences through imagination, movement, and play, and EMDR fits beautifully into those ways of understanding the world. When adapted for a child’s age and developmental stage, EMDR becomes a supportive, flexible, and highly effective tool that helps kids work through difficult experiences without overwhelming them.

Instead of reliving trauma, children are guided through bite-sized moments of processing while staying grounded, supported, and connected. Their natural openness and brain flexibility often allow them to move through trauma faster and with fewer barriers than adults.

So while EMDR may sound intimidating at first, especially if you’re only familiar with its use in adults, it can actually be one of the most child-friendly and empowering approaches to healing. It helps lighten their emotional load in a way that feels gentle, safe, and in a way that makes sense to them.

Why it Works Well

One of the most beautiful things about doing EMDR with children is witnessing just how strong, creative, and resilient they truly are. Kids often heal more quickly than adults, not because their experiences are smaller, but because they have natural “superpowers” that help their brains integrate new information and let go of what they no longer need.

Children don’t hold onto stories about themselves the way adults do. They’re still building their understanding of the world, so when something hurtful happens, EMDR can help their brain gently reshape that story before it becomes too heavy or fixed. Their imaginations are wide open, their bodies are expressive, and their brains are incredibly flexible (all of which make EMDR especially powerful for them).

Adults carry layers of lived experience- old beliefs, fear of vulnerability, protective habits, deeply rooted shame- all of which can slow down the healing process. Children, on the other hand, are still forming those layers. EMDR helps them sort through painful moments before they become long-term patterns.

Kids also trust their own instincts more. If something feels hard, they’ll show it. If something feels better, their bodies soften. Because they move so fluidly between emotions, EMDR often helps them move through trauma in a more direct and natural way.

It’s not that kids’ hurts are smaller...it’s that their hearts and brains are more open to letting go once they feel safe.

Kid-Friendly Ways We Integrate EMDR Into Therapy

EMDR with children is never about sitting still or talking at length. It becomes a flexible and creative process that adapts to the way kids naturally understand and move through their experiences. Some of the ways EMDR is made kid-friendly include:

● using dolls, puppets, figures, or sand trays to help children express and explore feelings in a symbolic and safe way

● offering tapping or hand-held buzzers as a calming alternative for kids who don’t enjoy eye movements

● incorporating drawing and simple storytelling to help children organize memories and feelings in ways that feel less overwhelming

● inviting children to imagine helpers or special powers (a brave animal, a wise guide, or a protective shield) that give them comfort and courage during processing

● creating a “safe place” in their mind, such as a cozy fort, a sunny beach, or a quiet treehouse, that they can return to whenever they need grounding

● integrating movement for active kids, such as marching, drumming, tossing a ball, or hopping between two spots, allowing bilateral stimulation to happen through play

● offering processing in short, manageable bursts woven with grounding, connection, and moments of play so their nervous system stays steady and supported

A Gentle, Hopeful Path Forward

Children are incredibly resilient. With the right support, their brains and bodies know how to heal. EMDR doesn’t erase what happened, but it helps kids carry it differently, with less fear, less confusion, and far more strength.

As those heavy “weights” grow lighter, kids often feel more confident, more settled, and more free to focus on the things that bring them joy.

If you’re curious about whether EMDR might help your child, connecting with a trained therapist is a wonderful place to start. Healing is possible, and often, children’s superpowers shine even brighter along the way.